My poor blog has suffered over the last year. I love updating and more than anything, I love having the posts to look back on. I hope it is always a special thing for our family allowing us to capture and record life as it happens. But when sweet #4 came along, I had to slow down. There are so many things I could have shared and so many moments that deserve to be recorded but I just couldn’t do it. Time was a precious commodity and I just didn’t have enough of it (do we ever?). There have also been so many emotional periods of time that were just hard to write about it.
Adoption is such an amazing thing and while it has been one of the biggest blessings of our lives, I also have to say that is has been hard. Two years ago while we were waiting for a referral, I was aware of the bonding issues and attachment issues we would face. I had attended a conference, read books, and read numerous blogs. I knew 4 kids would be hard. I knew I would be stretched. I knew all of that and yet I had NO doubt we were doing the right thing. And 2 years later, I still have NO doubts. Molly Kate is just as much my daughter as my three boys are my sons. I love her fiercely and would do anything for her. But y’all it is hard. Hard to watch your daughter suffer through doctor appointment after doctor appointment. Hear her cry for you with a panic in her voice. See her struggle with her speech. Watch her unable to interact with her peers because she can’t communicate with them. There are moments when these things are easier than others. The past few weeks have been hard weeks. Not because of anything Molly Kate has done, but because of her medical issues. I thought she would have two surgeries, go through a few years of speech therapy and all would be fine and normal. I am slowly realizing that it is just not that simple.
But we persevere. We will not give up. We will keep fighting. We will keep calling our insurance company. We will keep demanding the best for her because that is what we want for her. We will advocate for her for as long as we need to. We will keep dealing with surgeries and hospital stays. We will keep plugging away at speech therapy. We will keep doing all we need to do to help her have all she deserves. And we will do it with joy.
Because despite all the struggles and hard moments, there are so many, many, more sweet, precious moments. Her brothers ADORE her. LOVE her fiercely. Will do ANYTHING for her. She knows she can depend on them. She knows they will help her. She has thrived in preschool this year. She loves going to school and tries to tell me all about it. What a blessing! She has attached to all her grandparents and loves to be with them. She knows Mommy and Daddy will be there and love her. She has overcome so much and is a fighter! While her strong will is difficult at times, it is such a benefit to her right now.
I think these pictures can show the transformation in our girl!
Day 3 in China. I don’t think she let go of her thumb the entire 2 weeks we were there. 🙂
15 months later. I see such joy and confidence in her smile.
Right where she belongs…surrounded by her brothers! 🙂